"i've ceased to be amused"

july 1st - "jamie goes back to america"

I was fortunate enough to be able to bring Jamie to the airport when she left. I had no idea how difficult it would be. I got more and more homesick on the bus ride there. I just kept thinking about how much I wanted to be on that plane with her. I was so happy for her to go back home and see her family but painfully jealous. "Three more months and it'll be me," I kept thinking.

At this point, my friends start leaving one by one. That's one of the most difficult parts about living in Korea. You make friends and then they finish their contracts before you and leave you here. I commented to my friend Belinda about missing Jamie. True to her Auzzie style, she bluntly said, "Well, that's Korea for ya, man. Get used to it." Belinda's lived here three years and has had to say goodbye to many good friends. On the other hand, there's always a fresh batch of new people to meet too.


july 4th - "bungee jump. check."

It's weird over here. It didn't feel like the 4th of July at all. It was the same with Christmas, Easter, and pretty much every other Western holiday. Without the commercialism and inquiries from friends reminding you that you're supposed to have some big plan that day, the holidays kind of come and go without you noticing you missed anything.

This Independence Day a friend of mine asked me to go bungee jumping. Strangely enough, there's one in the park five minutes from my house. I consider myself someone who would generally try anything twice, but I have never, ever had any inclination to go bungee jumping. If I died and never bungee jumped, I always thought, "That'd be just fine." I told my friend I'd go watch.

After a good amount of peer pressure, I ended up saddling up in the harness and riding the elevator to the top of the jump. Five people went before me. I won't lie, if I could have gotten out of it at that point, I would have. I was incredibly nervous. I never wanted to bungee jump because I always imagined an immense amount of whiplash and pictured parts of my body snapping in two. One girl went right before me. She hesitated. It was all over after that. You can't hesitate. I watched her struggle to jump once she looked down, and I thought to myself, "Self, don't do that, look out and run straight off the platform." I did. Well first I triple-checked with bungee-jump operator man after he attached a rope covered in duck tape to a velcro harness around my waist. "Are you sure it's ready? Am I hooked up? Do you have my weight right? Are you sure this velcro holds? Are you SURE?"
Bungee jump man: "Yes. Are you ready?"
Me: "No."
Bungee jump man: "You're beautiful."
Me: "Ok, I'm ready."
I looked out at the hills and took a running leap off. It was the scariest, most exhilarating feeling I've ever felt. I flew, starfish-formation so as not to flip. I didn't scream, just wide-eyed, open-mouthed, spread-eagle, felt myself fall almost to the water and bounce back up. The part where you hang in the balance before falling again... my chest filled up with breath and I gasped as I felt myself plummet again. Rinse, lather, repeat up to five times. I can't really describe how intense it was. I was lowered down into a raft in the lake. I was shaking from head to toe but very happy I did it and quite proud of myself. The crowd below cheered for me. For some reason I am the only one they cheered for. It was exciting moment that I'll never forget. And now I can die and say, "Yeah, I bungee-jumped, check."


july 25th - "han river cruise"

I went on a boat cruise down the Han River. It's just about the worst cruise ever, but only 6 bucks. One big long view of concrete and bridges overhead. It was unsightly, yet still fun because, ya know, boats are pretty much always fun. We also took some of our new coworkers who had been in Korea less than a week. Not the best tour of Seoul, but anyhow.


august 2nd-4th - "this vacation sucks"

For part of my vacation I went to Sokcho beach on the northeast coast of South Korea. That's right, forty kilometers from North Korea. We went there because supposedly it's a really nice place with great beaches and such. Not really. Every time a Korean has ever said, "Oh, that's a nice place to visit" we've been sorely disappointed. As far as I can tell, everywhere else in Korea that's not Seoul or a suburb of Seoul is still in post-war, pre-economic boom condition. The food is creepy. The motels are sketchy. Everything is old and dingy. People stare, more.

The beaches at Sokcho were nice-ish, but you couldn't find a serene corner just to lay back and listen to the waves. At night the beaches were crowded with people lighting dinky fireworks one after the other. I struggled to block out not only the crackle and boom of the fireworks going off beside me but also the loud-speaker announcements telling everyone to stay out of the water. No, you can't put your feet in the water after dark. Too many people drown. Actually, my friend Jen literally stumbled over a dead body on the beach last summer. It's quite common.

You may think this sounds unfair if you haven't been to Korea, but I honestly don't think it's a very beautiful country. I've been to the places that people said are the most famous for their beauty, and although some have been, overall, the country is a bit gray and unsightly. I've taken a bus south across the whole damn thing, if you recall. I've been to the mountains and the coast. I've also talked to other people who have been other places and their assessment is much the same. People don't come to Korea on vacation. There's a reason. Although Koreans refer to their country as "Han-guk," meaning "the great country" or "leader country," their name for America is "Mi-guk," translated beautiful country. I agree.


a few new things I can say in korean:

-I can count to 100, very slowly.
-I can say all the prices in Korean too, this is a little trickier than just counting.
-"What is that?"
-"I'm drunk."
-"Good job." (only slightly different from "I'm drunk.")
-another way to say "Cheers!"
-"It's not okay."
-A bunch of swear words
-"I'm American."
-"I'm sick."
-"5 minutes," "10 minutes," etc.
-"It's good."
-chopsticks
-spoon
-fork (in Korean: "pork-ah")


It feels like I've been dreaming this whole time, (maybe because I left the U.S. in the wee hours of the morning after being up all night.) I remember deliriously getting on the plane and thinking, "Am I really doing this? Am I really flying to Korea and leaving everything behind?" And here I am, still here after almost a year. It's hard to describe the feeling that all your memories for the past ten months seem vaguely imagined.

This dreamlike feeling may also be due to the fact that life here is generally unrealistic. I can see why so many people stay here for years on end. It's easy living in more ways than one, your employer pays your rent and you never really have to grow up. (For instance, you could drink every single night and still not out-drink most of the Korean men of the country.) It's kind of like living in la-la land for a whole year.

La-la land probably sounds pretty great to some of you back in the U.S., living and working in a far-from-dreamy economic recession. Despite knowing what job prospects are sure to greet me at home, I can't wait to go back. Everything here has ceased to be amusing and I'm finding life here more and more irritating these days. Ya know when you've been on vacation for a while, but then you get tired of traveling, feel like you've spent too much money on stupid shit, and just can't wait to be back in your own bed? That's the closest thing I can think of to describe how it feels to be here now, except multiply that feeling by a year.

So, I've made it through monsoon season. Yes. It rained the entire month of July. I just have the intensely humid heat of August to endure, an immense amount of schoolwork to prepare in September, and then I can come home.

(A few more pictures added to the beginning of the slide show. These are from my "rafting" trip and surprisingly quite pretty. The other new ones are clearly from the zoo field trip.)